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Tired tush tedium is pandemic problem | Columnists - FlagSpin

Tired tush tedium is pandemic problem | Columnists

John Horgan

Would it be fair to state that no one has been immune to the consequences of the ongoing COVID pandemic? It would surely seem so.

There is growing evidence of all manner of pandemic-related conditions and outcomes (mental and physical), apart from the virus itself. Mandated isolation rules and quarantine dictates have made life less than fulfilling for a full year.

Fortunately, San Mateo County residents and workers can see some real reasons for hope as they emerge from hibernation into a less restrictive public health tier — hooray for orange, by the way.

However, the lingering results of 12 months of forced cloistering are still with us. Your correspondent has discovered an unexpected ailment related to all of this.

Yes, what has been dubbed “Dead Butt Syndrome” (or DBS if you prefer) is a legitimate affliction, caused by countless hours of reading, sitting in front of a TV set or a computer screen, or all three.

This tired tush tedium is marked by such persistent physical signs as back pain, tingling/pain in the ankles or feet and hip problems.

The solution is obvious: Rise, Lazarus and shake those bones, oil those joints and get moving again. Pronto. We don’t want DBS to become chronic. The Medicare program is in more than enough fiscal difficulty as it is.

EVEN BERNIE LOVES NINI’S: Nini’s Coffee Shop, nestled on the eastern San Mateo/Burlingame border near Peninsula Avenue and Highway 101, has been shut down for a full year, a sad result of the pandemic.

Even when permitted, the restaurant, a popular breakfast/lunch venue for decades since it made its debut here in 1968, has not offered take-out or outdoor dining.

The prognosis for reopening appears to be less than sanguine. However, a Nini’s fan with a sense of humor posted a Photoshopped image of U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders, everyone’s favorite geezer socialist, perched on a chair outside the shuttered establishment.

Bernie, though, is going to have to wait for his next substantial ration of Nini’s scrambled eggs, bacon, home fries and toast.

A NOT-SO-FRIENDLY RWC INCIDENT: Police in Redwood City responded recently to a call involving an allegation of physical violence, never a pleasant circumstance to be sure. A renter reported that an angry landlord had struck him in the face during a dispute. No reason for the purported assault was provided. But the location of the untoward incident was — get ready for it: Friendly Court. Folks, you cannot make up this stuff. Really.

DOWNTOWN SAN MATEO DISCIPLINE: In that same strange suburban vein, it’s worth noting that downtown San Mateo has had its share of quirky enterprises through the decades. The naughty Jaybird Adult Bookstore (a lewd fixture on East Third Avenue for decades and now featuring handy curbside pickup service) and the old S&M Market flash into the cerebellum immediately. A personal favorite remains the Spankme Building on Eighth Avenue.

VACCINE PASSPORTS FOR LIBRARIES: Public libraries, for pandemic reasons that remain somewhat arbitrary and certainly debatable, continue to remain closed for in-person customers. Museums, many schools, churches and other similar facilities are now opening up. Here’s a modest recommendation to get libraries up and functioning somewhat normally: Allow those with vaccine passports to utilize them. Why not?

PANDEMIC’S WARTIME EQUIVALENT: For all of you numbers freaks out there, here’s a relevant, eye-popping data morsel to chew on as you try to digest the last 12 months: The total tab for Congress’ five federal fiscal packages (so far) OK’d to combat the pandemic’s economic fallout is $5.6 trillion. The U.S. spent $4 trillion (in equivalent dollars today) to finance World War II. Let that sink in for a while as you prepare your 2020 tax return.

POP WARNER, BEAR BRYANT SPINNING: Finally, we would be remiss if we didn’t take note of an “only-in-San Francisco” phenomenon that occurred last week. The all-knowing authority figures in the city’s public school district declared that, as of early April, its secondary students will be permitted to play girls’ flag football games but not boys’ traditional football clashes. Pop Warner and Bear Bryant are spinning in their graves. 

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Travis Burnett

Travis Burnett

A pioneer in the flag football community, Travis helped co-found the Flag Football World Championship Tour, FlagSpin and USA Flag. Featuring 15+ years of content creation for the sport of flag football, creating and managing the largest flag football tournaments on the planet, coaching experience at the youth and adult level as well as an active player with National and World Championship level experience.

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